You have been on my mind alot these last few days.   Two years ago you called me from Kuwait after having Thanksgiving dinner to tell me you were heading Downrange tonight.  You said you were flying into Baghdad and then to Kalsu. 

 I can't help but remember the worry and concern I had for you.  Today, I think about missing you and wishing you were here with that smirky little smile.  Everytime I see pumpkin pie I can't help but think of you. 

I know you are in a better place, but at times the pain is still there.  Everytime I see where another of your Brothers in Arms dies in the line of duty, my heart goes out to their family.  I know what they are going through and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. 

The Holidays just aren't the same anymore.  For you I am going to force myself to put up the Christmas Tree.  You always loved the decorations.  So this is for you.  Just remember I have always loved you and always will.  I miss you Matt so very much.

Love,

Dad

Matthew,

This is our second Thanksgiving without you.  It seems so unreal. I just can't even begin to say, what I really want to say to you, except God, how much we all miss you.

Daddy is up with Grandma and Grandpa. I guess you already know Grandpa is in the hospital. He is doing all right, except I am sure he wanted to be home for today's dinner. Daddy will help Grandma cook and so not a normal Holiday for them.

Melissa and I are going to spend the day together again. Hopefully she won't make me pee my pants like last year. I am sure you got a huge kick out of that situation. The table is set and your dish is right there with our's. Tonight, when Melissa leaves for work, I will head up to the Base to see you and bring you some pumpkin pie and peas. We all know how much you love them both.

Poppy is at Cousin Vinnie's today then Uncle Jimmy is going to leave tomorrow to be in Fla to spend the night there and they both will get up on Saturday to head to Ga where they will meet Bobby and rest the night. Sunday morning, Poppy is off on his dream trip to Italy. How cool is that? Wasn't that the place you said you went while in Germany, and that you got us all gifts and how excited we were?????  Yea, uhummm!

 It is just so hard for us to grasp that this will be his last Thanksgiving and then at Christmas, his last one as well. This death thing sucks really bad, Matt. We all need a break. Don't you have any pull up there?

Well, just wanted to stop by to say Happy Thanksgiving. I sometimes feel I am not thankful for too many things these days, but I am thankful for Melissa, Daddy, Poppy, my insane family, my friends, new ones and old...my job, even though it is killing my OLD body and most of all, for having 21 years with you. Longer would have been better but everyone tells me I will never know the reason why God took you but it had better been a good reason. I could really use you and your hugs right now.

OK, better stop before the tears come down so we love and miss you so much. Rest and please try to keep Poppy from any pain.

Love,

Mom

  Well, I wanted to thank you for coming and hanging out with me in my dreams the other night. As random as they are, I love waking up in the morning feeling like I got to be with you. It's a bittersweet feeling, but one that I hope to have plenty more.  I know that you're watching out for me and just know that I recognize it. It's so wierd to see your friends getting married, having kids and knowing that you'll never get that. It's hard, kinda makes me mad sometimes. I dunno, another Christmas is coming without you. That's sooo wierd. The first one was hard, this one is so much worse. It feels like so long now since you've gone. I listen to your voicemail messages a lot lately. I'm not sure why, cause at first I couldn't handle hearing your voice. Now, I just replay them over and over, I guess it makes me feel like your here or something. Keep giving us all signs that you're around, it keeps us going. I miss you so much Matt, that sounds so simple and common, but GOD, I miss you. I miss joking with you and laughing about mom and dad. I miss having someone understand everything. I think about you every day, hundreds of times a day. Just keep visiting me in my dreams and keep watching out for me. I love you Matt

Sa Sa

Another year gone by. Last year was sad. I went to the Liberty Memorial, where a brick now lays for you, and was so honored to be sitting in the company of many men and women who served our fine country, just like you. I can't do it this year as work is a calling me. They will be having a tribute to all Veteran's at 3:00 at school and I will very much be thinking of my hero, YOU !

Dad might be at the Liberty Memorial to celebrate with everyone and I am sure he will be as honored to be there as well as I was.

So as our flags fly high and wave towards the sky, we will think of you and how you protected our country and did so, in an unselfish way. To all your buddy's...we thank you more then you will ever know. Just please stay safe. We love you all.

Honor all Veteran's.

Love,

Mom

Matt,

Not sure what to say. You know we now have a new President. A few of my friends and even family members have disagreed with whom I voted for. I did not vote on race. I voted on morals and ethics and how dad and I raised you and Melissa...and that is NOT to QUIT.

For whatever reason we got into this war, you joined the Army to make sure we stayed as free as we could.  You fought for a cause, regardless of who was right and who was wrong. When you were in soccer and you wanted to quit because you were loosing...what did Dad and I make you do.?  Yep, we asked you to stay and not QUIT.

I am not sure if you would want me to be so passionate about this cause, but I am and I am going to be for a long time. I don't want your death to be for no gosh darn reason and for a war that will live down to be a war people will trash for years to come as the war we should not have fought or the war that was a mistake. You did not die for a mistake and neither did any other soldier who joins you. I respect you and honor you and for that, I will fight my own war in making sure we as American's DO NOT QUIT.  We need to finish this fight and then and only then...will I be allowed to rest.

I love and miss you so much. I wish you could talk to me and tell me what to do. Help us, Matt.

Love,

Mom

Today we celebrated your 23rd birthday.  John, Kathy, Janice and I met at Leavenworth to pay tribute to you, our hero.  I bet everyone in the vicinity could see where your gave is by all the decorations.  We also put a pumpkin with a face on it next to your headstone in honor of Halloween.  Halloween was always one of your most favorite holidays.  We all miss you so much and wish you were here so we could celebrate your birthday like we did your 21st.  It doesn't seem like you have been gone this long, but there is still a huge void in my life without you.  So many things left to do and no one to do them with.  You will always be our hero and we will never forget you and what you did.  It took a special type of brave person like you to be able to look evil in the eye and continue to do your duty for your country.  I love you and will alway miss you and your smirkey smile.  Help me to be strong to carry on without you.

Until we meet again,

Love Dad

   Hey honey, Happy Birthday!! I'm glad I could be here this year for your birthday, last year was defintely a mess for me (I"m sur you saw it all ;)) I wish I could take a little road trip to heaven for a day or even an hour and have a beer with you...get drunk, get the hiccups like we both seem to do after a few drinks :) I miss you so much Matt...it feels almost wrong celebrating your birthday without you. I still have the green blowers and decorations from your 21st birthday, a night that I'll cherish forever. We had so much fun together and I'm so glad we were able to spend it together. God, I wish that wouldn't have been your last birthday, but at the same time, at least it was a great one! We're going to Leavenworth today to put some pretty flowers on your grave.  I know you'll be partying it up in heaven, just make sure Granny stays under control (she can get a little crazy)! Just have fun and celebrate because you deserve it. Know that I miss you everyday when I wake up and I think about you everynight before I fall alseep. I love you Matt, Happy Birthday lil bro!!

I just can't believe you are 23. Happy Birthday, my sweet boy.

What a week, huh? DC was an emotional trip. I did lots of crying, lots of thinking and lots of fighting. My hopes were to get answers, to share stories and to honor you and all the others who died for our right to do so. I met lots of families. All of their loved ones are with you now. Five parents, 21 wives. All who died for the same mission in life. To protect our freedom...but as I saw on many memorials there...Freedom is NOT Free. We lost you and they lost them. No, it's not fair and we all miss you, but heaven is full of heroes. One, being YOU.  I know you were with me this week because I could not have done any of it without you and Granny. DC is full of history and yet for me, so full of reality. Your death, those first few days, weeks, months and year...was all shoved in front of me again and again, I lived those moments. Now...it hurts more. Before I was too numb or too much in shock to even think of what was going on at that time. This week, when we shared our stories, I felt it all, and this time, it hurt. It still hurts now as I am writing this and looking at your picture.

We learned that NO one should tell us how long this journey of grief should take. That NO one should expect any of us to " GET OVER IT". NO one should say anything unless they have walked in OUR shoes. I have been told that I am making this journey "ALL ABOUT ME". I am glad those people have not lost a son/daughter/husband or wife in this war or for that matter, any war. But...they need to keep quiet and keep their thoughts and opinons to themselves. We have not just lost a son, brother, grandson and nephew...we lost part of who we are as a family and a part of our hearts. To those people...I am not going to stop this journey, nor give up on fighting for those who will follow and most of all, not going to stop missing and talking about our son.  As an American...I have that right.

So Matthew, on this day, I will cry, I will laugh and I will remember. Happy Birthday and know that dad, Sa and I miss you so much as the entire FAMILY does. Granny only drinks beer but maybe share with her that Germany liquor, I am not going to even try to spell it on here, but have a drink with her to celebrate your special day. I love and miss you so very much.

Love,

Mom

Matt,

What a day we had today. I am sure you were looking down on your sister, laughing like crazy. We met General Caldwell today and almost all the Gold Star families from the area. The few we already knew were there along with Jacob Butler's family, Billy Mulvinhill's ( the spelling is wrong I know) and a few others. It was a nice day, sharing stories and hearing how we all still miss you guys. Moms, dads, brothers and sisters, all eyes welling up with tears as we honor you all. We heard how some of you had a feeling that you might not come back home alive, stories of where you all might have wanted to be buried and it made me feel like I should have been talking about someone other then our son. You could not be gone, you will be coming back and then that cold sweat comes over me and I KNOW, you won't be. 

Even after this long I still ache and cry to hear your voice and feel your arms around me. I know you are here with us all but I think we all could use some reassurance. David's mom put flowers on your grave today and we thanked her. The grass is coming up very thick and green and it is hard to think you have been gone this long. I know it really is NOT a long time but to us, it seems like eternity.

Melissa, Dad and I want you to know we are so damn proud of you. Memorials all over the world. Germany, Iraq, Texas, Kansas City, Fla and who knows where. I guess you were right, you are our Hero.

Please keep an eye on us. I am going to be very busy the next few weeks as you might already know. I hope you are proud of what I am trying to do. I am doing it in your honor and for all who follow you. I want to make sure parents who have to hurt, know, they are among the few of us who have been there, done that, and that we are all going to get through it and meet you all, someday soon. Save us a place in the log cabin. Make sure Granny has things in order. Love you both and miss you tons. Sleep tight, Matthew.

Love,

Mom

Matt,

After I read Uncle Jimmy's comment, I too, wanted to thank you for doing the unthinkable. I never would have thought today that when you were in high school...that 9-11 would shape who you have become. I don't remember 9-11 last year as we were still very numb over the news of your death, but this morning, I did not go to work, until I watched again, the terrifying images of 7 years ago. The flags were all at half mast today and it made me proud that you did what you wanted and felt the need to do, so I can get up and go to work and teach the children I have, instead of some government, deciding to either kill or put them away. I can go and pray to God in whatever church I want to. I can salute my flag and be proud of what is stands for. YOU... and all the other soldiers who have made that ultimate sacrifice, is the reason I can live in peace and have the freedom I want and need.

I miss you very much but knowing you died for this reason is so much an honor for us as your family. Today they had a memorial for you and 18 other soldiers from Germany who died in the war. We asked that Jason, stand in for us as we could not go. We hoped he would do this for us but mostly for you. We know it must be hard on him and Sgt. Havens. We can't talk much to them but I hope someday, they both know we honor them as well.

So with that said, I want to say, rest Matt. We are doing all right. We try each and every day to move on a little further and a little faster. Someday soon, we will be able to hold you again and I promise this next time...to never let you go.

I love you,

Mom

Matthew,

As we take today to remember the attack that changed all our lives 7 years ago, I can't help but try to imagine what went through your mind as a young man.  You were not old enough to join the army at that point, but old enough to know our freedom and way of life was under attack, and old enough to know our country needed brave men and women to protect it.  I am sure that your future decisions were shaped by that day.  I am sure that you became a man of honor on that day.  What these cowardly terrorists did not anticipate was that Matthew Michael Murchison would grow to be strong, dedicated and full of purpose.  A man who loved his country, his freedom and was willing to sacrifice everything to insure all his fellow americans would live free as well.  Your sacrifice was not attributed to the promise of 17 virgins (Even though I can picture you smiling at that thought), but to good versus evil. 

I thank you again, my family thanks you again, and our country thanks you again.  You have made us safer, and we are forever in your debt.

To Matthew and his family.

I am a Chief Selectee in the United States Navy, and was recently asked to find someone from my hometown, Independence, MO,  to honor for their service to our nation.  That is where I learned about your passing.  I did not know you or your family, but want you to know that even though you made the Ultimate Sacrifice, you did so with Honor and you will not be forgotten.  Thank you Matthew.

One year ago today we had your services at the funeral home and at Fort Leavenworth.  Today another of your Brothers in Arms was buried at Fort Leavenworth.  It just doesn't seem like it has been a year.  One of the toughest years of my life.  We re all still having good days and bad days, but mostly days of wishing you were here with us.  God I miss you and your smirky smile.  I know we must go on, but you are a tough act to follow.  I know that with the passing of each day that I am a day closer to seeing you again.  I can hardly wait for that day.  You will be forever on my mind and in my heart.  I love you Matt.  You are and will always be my hero.

Love, Dad

  Well, for some reason it's taken me a bit to write again.  I'm not sure why necessarily, just trying to grasp what I needed to the last week.  You're really gone Matt, and for the first time I think it sinks in.  Sometimes it feels like years ago that we lost you and sometimes it still feels so fresh and new.  I've realized a lot of the reasons why you were put in my life and I've tried to take that and continue on.  More than anything, I just want to talk to you, tell you funny stories, hear your laugh, have you by my side again.  Every night I look into the sky, looking for signs that you're still with me.  I do get your signs Matt and I know that your still so close, I can feel it.  Since you died, I was so lost and didn't even want to try to move on.  It took me a lot to understand that I can't move on, I have to move forward.  I've done so much to make myself keep truckin.  I'm actually pretty content with my life right now.  Things are simple, not so complicated when you compare them to how it could be. I defintely now know things can always be soo much worse.  You've made me strong, secure, and heartbroken, all at the same time.  I treasure it though, even all the pain.  Without pain, I can't know true happiness and that is something that you've given me.  Please know that I still think of you every night before I sleep and I pray that you know and see how much you're missed.  I love you Matt!

Matthew,

Well, sweetie...here we are full circle at the One Year mark. I can't belive it has been a year. It still seems so unreal but I do know how much your enjoying being with Granny and meeting all your new friends like David, Todd, Ben, and all the other soldier who have died.

Matt, we all miss you so much. We hope to have honored you in the way you wanted this weekend and we hope to someday soon hold you tight in our arms knowing we will never be apart again. It will probably be a while but know I can't wait till that day comes. In the meantime, I will think and love you each and every moment of the day and night.

I start work again next week and hopfully that will keep me busy. My move closer to Melissa will be nice too so again, help us all get through...till we meet again.

I love you baby and kiss Granny for me.

Love,

Mom

Please know that I will be remembering Matthew on the first anniversary of his passing....

Darice Heishman  Patriot Guard member ~ Kansas City

Dear Matt,

I never had the chance to meet you but I worked with your Dad. I know it's almost a year now and I know how much he missed and still misses you. But they say the apple don't fall far from the tree and in this case I had to honor of working with your Dad and I know how proud he was and is of you. I'd like to think that knowing your Dad was in some small way from his love for you and stories of you and how much honor he has had in your life and your passing and still now in your memory.. a bit of knowing you. God Bless and Keep You and Your Dad and Mom and Sister... Magic